RI Rep. Patricia Morgan Introduces Bill to Outlaw Ignoring Her Bills
In a move that has left the Rhode Island General Assembly both bemused and slightly terrified, State Representative Patricia Morgan has introduced a new piece of legislation that would make it illegal for her fellow lawmakers to ignore her bills.
In a move that has left the Rhode Island General Assembly both bemused and slightly terrified, State Representative Patricia Morgan has introduced a new piece of legislation that would make it illegal for her fellow lawmakers to ignore her bills. This comes after a series of her previous bills, including those outlawing abortion, outlawing education, and stationing a police officer on every street “just in case”, were continuously overlooked by the House Speaker and other members of the General Assembly.
“I’ve had enough of my bills being treated like they’re invisible. If they won’t listen to my ideas, they’ll have to listen to my bill about listening to my ideas,” Morgan said during a press conference held at the Four Seasons*.
The proposed legislation, titled the “Stop Ignoring My Bills Act”, would impose a $500 fine on any lawmaker found guilty of ignoring, avoiding, or “pretending not to see” any bill introduced by Morgan. It also includes a clause that would require the House Speaker to personally read out loud every bill she introduces, complete with dramatic pauses and sound effects.
Critics of the bill have pointed out that it may be unconstitutional, to which Morgan responded, “I’ve just introduced a bill to outlaw arguments against the constitutionality of my bills. Problem solved.”
In addition to the “Stop Ignoring My Bills Act”, Morgan has also introduced the “Faux Pas FastPass Act” which would allow Rhode Islanders three free passes per year on racially insensitive comments. For an extra fee, the “Faux Pas FastPass” would offer unlimited passes and be good thru the 2024 season.
When asked about the feasibility of these bills, Morgan replied, “They said putting wheels on a suitcase was crazy too, yet here we are.”
As of now, it remains unclear whether the “Stop Ignoring My Bills Act” will be ignored like its predecessors. However, one thing is certain: Patricia Morgan is more determined to be noticed than a telemarketer at dinner time.
The Ocean is a satirical look at past, present, and future stories that have occurred or may occur in Rhode Island.