Governor McKee Cancels Multimillion-Dollar Contract Over Improperly Prepared Cheesesteak

In a move that has left culinary critics and political pundits alike in a state of disbelief, Rhode Island Governor Dan McKee has cancelled a multimillion-dollar contract with Scout Ltd., the developer tasked with rehabilitating the vacant Cranston Street Armory in Providence. The reason? A Philly cheesesteak that was not served to his exact specifications.

The trip, which was supposed to be a simple meet-and-greet, quickly devolved into a culinary catastrophe when the governor was served a Philly cheesesteak that was, according to him, “overcooked, under-seasoned, and an affront to sandwich lovers everywhere.”

The governor, known for his particular palate, was reportedly so offended by the improperly prepared sandwich that he immediately called for an investigation into the matter. The debacle, which has been dubbed “Cheesesteakgate,” has left the state reeling and the governor with a serious case of heartburn.

“The governor takes his sandwiches very seriously,” said a spokesperson for McKee. “He believes that a well-made sandwich is the foundation of any successful business meeting. Unfortunately, this cheesesteak was a complete disaster.”

The Scout officials, Lindsay Scannapieco and Everett Abitbol, found themselves in the middle of a public relations nightmare after the trip. They were accused of serving the governor a Philly cheesesteak that was not only overcooked but also lacked the proper ratio of steak to cheese.

In the aftermath of the scandal, the Rhode Island GOP filed an ethics complaint, alleging that McKee violated the state ethics code when he accepted the free lunch from Scout lobbyist Jeff Britt. The lunch, which reportedly consisted of a Philly cheesesteak and a side of fries, has since been dubbed “the most expensive meal in Rhode Island history.”

State officials insist that the decision to cancel the contract was based on the poorly prepared cheesesteak rather than any financial considerations. In the meantime, the Cranston Street Armory remains vacant, a silent testament to the perils of improperly prepared sandwiches. As for the future of the armory, only time will tell. But one thing is for sure: the next time Rhode Island officials plan a business trip, they might want to bring their own lunch.

“From now on, the governor will be packing his own sandwiches,” said the spokesperson. “And he’ll be sticking to PB&J. It’s a lot harder to mess up.”